The blessing of Parenting...

Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation. - C. Everett Koop

Parenting is one of the most responsible and skillful task and good parenting means promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child in order to raise a healthy, confident, happy, socially responsible individual. Today there are lots of books and information available on good parenting and more over parenting these days is a task in many ways because of the overwhelmingly advanced mind sets and ideas that the new generation child portrays. In order to be a good parent we must be a good individual ourself. Children are like a mirror and they reflect us in their thoughts and actions.

Having defined many things about parenting, are we really good at parenting?  Do we really teach the younger generation about selflessness, spirituality, humanity, gratitude, love, affection, compassion, sharing, acceptance? I have many interesting experiences of interacting with the fellow parents while i wait to pick up my four year old daughter from school. It is so disheartening to find how parents knowingly and unknowingly teach their children about being materialistic. Today parents tend to focus only on the marks, the children score in their exams. Money and wealth are given primary focus than ethics and moral.

It is even more dismaying to find that parents today don't want their kids to fail in the smallest of things even at the kindergarten level. Parents get depressed and cannot bear even the smallest failure of their wards and it is this mentality of the parents that inculcates the fear of failure in the young minds. Lack of self confidence and fear are unfruitful by-products of this mind set of the parents.The success of a person lies in how he looks at failure. We all face failures and how we take failure makes all the difference. As responsible parents we  must create a healthy mind set in our children about how to face failures. Not all first rank holders are successful in life. We should impart the real definition of success to our children. We can share the biography of successful people who have become successful ethically, people who have treated failures as stepping stones for success, people who have started from scratch and become successful using right strategies, help them choose a right role model.

Today's kids fail to enjoy the joy of playing together with friends enjoying nature. Children spend most of their times in front of televisions and electronic gadgets. There is lack of opportunity for the children to follow the strategy of
'Kaalai ezhunthavudan padippu, pinbu kanivu kodukkum nalla paattu
 Maalai muzhuvathum villaiyaattu ..........' given by Mahakavi Subramanya Bharathi. As parents we must make sure that we give plenty of opportunity for the children to learn, play and enjoy. Also healthy children are happy children. Parents should ensure that their children eat healthy and are also physically active. Help them de-stress through music and art. We should be supportive to the children in times of good and bad, avoid comparisons and be able to understand them emotionally.

Having taken the decision of being a parent we must enjoy and cherish parenting. We should feel great to be a parent. Parenting as such is a big learning process where we can have a sense of satisfaction. If we consider parenting as fun and have positive feelings about it, they will help us bring up children as responsible citizens with optimistic attitude. Luckily, today as parents we are exposed to lot of information on good parenting. Let us utilize these resources and become responsible parents. Lets celebrate parenting....

My sincere thanks to Mr.VidyaShankar, the CEO of Only Success and author of '101 secrets of effective parenting' who has inspired me to write this simple article on parenting.
Miles to go......

Healing effects of Music

‘Music’- The term sounds very musical, isn’t? Yes, music has a profound effect on one’s mind, body and soul. I remember reading an article on The Hindu which said that a six year old girl from Ambalapuzha who was admitted in an unconscious condition to the intensive care unit, after suffering severe brain injury, was in fact responding slowly to music therapy. Me being crazy about music, got excited on reading this article. I started searching for many articles on music therapy. I found many articles which reinforced the healing effect of music. Music is indeed found to cure many cancer patients apart from its benefits of abridging stress.

Research shows that listening to music supports fetal development in pregnant ladies. That is why a ceremony called 'Valaikappu' is held in the seventh or ninth month of pregnancy. This is a ritual in which the pregnant woman is presented with sets of glass bangles and the sound of these bangles is supposed to reach the womb. Also the mom-to-be is advised to wear anklets with lot of beads which produces sounds that are said to enhance the hearing ability of the baby.  New born babies are put to sleep by their mothers singing lullabies. Lullabies provide a joyful, soul-soothing way to calm the fussy baby and to help lull her to sleep (and to calm the mother at the same time). There is just no substitute for these moments of connection and it is one of the ways of nurturing love and affection to the little one.

Personally music has had an intense impact on me. I have always approached music as my companion from my childhood. The amount of joy, pleasure, happiness etc.. and etc.. music gives to me is boundless.  I would say that soothing music takes me to a meditative state. I used to sing the song ‘Thazham poove vaasam veesu…’ as a lullaby for my daughter ever since she was a small baby. Even today this song makes it very easy for me to comfort her when she is annoyed. I enjoy spending time with my daughter, teaching her music. I feel elated when she sings the songs sung by legends like MSS. She enjoys singing very much and she likes to sing many songs on lord Krishna. Her singing just lessens the burden in the minds of my family members. Music in reality has healed many people at our home. 

I would like to quote a cine song written by kavignar Valli, “Kaatril varum Geethame, en Kannanai arivayoo…”. It’s a beautiful song composed by Maestro Illayaraja, which talks about music. I like the following lines in this song,
“Varundhum uyirkku oru marundhaagum,
 Isai, arundhum mugam malarum arumbaagum!
Isain payanee Iraivan thaanee…”

Music has a therapeutic effect and it is a way of attaining God.

Miles to go…………..

Sacred Tulasi and traditional values

           I am a person who gives importance to traditional values and appreciates the ancient style of living. From my childhood days, I was taught, the importance of Tulasi (Holy Basil) by my grandma. I used to sit with my grandma while she offered her prayers to God with Tulasi leaves. After finishing her prayers, she would give me the holy water in which Tulasi was dipped. I would always ask her several questions about why she gave me Tulasi leaves and she would explain me the importance of Tulasi's religious and medicinal values. I still remember the days, my grandma prepared kashayam out of Tulasi and Karpoora Valli leaves, whenever I was suffering from cold and flu. I loved the aroma of the kashayam prepared by her and many times I have pretended to cough for the sake of my grandma's Tulasi kashayam.
            I as a mom, wanted to inculcate the importance of holy Tulasi in my daughter's mind. So I planted Tulasi at my home. I also planted a few more plants along with Tulasi. I watered all the plants every day and was delighted to see them grow. Every morning, I get fresh energy and enthusiasm to start my day, when I see the plants. I keep wondering at God's beautiful creation and new positive energy flows through my body looking at the plants. I have now started to enlarge my balcony garden with many flowering and non-flowering plants. Gardening has become my favorite hobby and it gives me a feeling of immense happiness  that I care so much about the lives of the plants in my garden. I pass on this feeling of pride and satisfaction to my daughter and she waters our garden with her tiny watering can.
            She copies me when I recite Gayathri Mantra to Tulasi Matha. It has become a habit for both of us to start our day after reciting the mantra and this habit makes us feel spiritually refreshed. It helps me get rid of all my negative feelings and move on with a positive attitude. I am now following my grandma’s kashaya recipe whenever my daughter gets infected with cold. It works wonders and I share this recipe with my friends and relatives.

            Many of us do not understand and cherish our traditional believes and values in this fast paced technical world.  I feel that it is extremely important for us to impart the benefits of our traditional style of living to our future generations. It is the need of the hour for the younger generation to realize, treasure and practice our traditional golden customs in today’s stressful life. Let us understand the greatness of our paati’s preaching and vaidyam. Our great grandparents have imparted many good things to us through their learning from experience and let us also do our duty of imparting those valuables to our future generations.

Miles to go…..